Growth Over Comfort | Nerd Fitness

Stephen Wilson Jr. is a scientist at Mars. (Yes, candy company).

One day, his boss pulled him into the office and said something that changed his life:

“Stephen, you are about to be promoted.”

What was supposed to be a cause for celebration turned out to be a warning from the boss.

In a previous life, Stephen was a guitarist in a small indie rock band. He also writes songs at night.

His boss knew what a great composer Stephen was and where he truly belonged.

He told Stephen about the golden handcuffs:

“You’re about to be promoted, and they’re training you for that promotion.

You are at a crossroads.

Because if you take (a promotion), like I took 30 years ago, your dream of being a songwriter goes away. This will drain you of every bit.

Now you can write songs and do this job, but in 6 months I’m not sure you’ll be able to do it. So I just wanted to give you a warning.

The small voice in Stephen’s head that had been there for years began to grow louder.

Six weeks later, his inner voice had reached deafening proportions and he gave two weeks’ notice, which left him bewildered everyone (Except his boss and his wife).

He started working as a bartender and waiter to make ends meet while honing his craft and trying to get country music publishing deals… while getting rejected for not writing Number“Brotherly Country” SongNumber:

Someone told him: “You write real song. There’s nothing we can do about it…”

Years later, after having some modest success writing songs for other musicians, he finally gathered the courage, experience, and clout to start recording his own songs.

Last year, he finally released his debut album, daddy’s sonRolling Stone magazine called it one of the best albums of 2023.

Recently, Stephen launched NumberThis jaw-dropping cover of Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me”Number I’ve listened to it about ten thousand times in the past month.

(Seriously, watch this video. It will give you goosebumps!).

Golden handcuffs vs uncomfortable expansion

From 2008 to 2010, I also lived a double life.

My day job is at Sixthman, helping promote and produce floating music festivals. But I also spent my evenings and weekends working on a small website helping nerds get fit.

My boss April and my mentor Andy (the owner of the company) both knew where my heart was; they encouraged me to pursue a future in discomfort and try to make nerdy fitness my career.

16 years have passed and we are still strong!

In Oliver Berkman’s book Numberfour thousand weeksNumberhe encourages us to ask a specific question when making decisions in our lives:

“Where are you currently seeking comfort in your life or work when all you need is a little discomfort?”

Asking ourselves “What would make me happiest” is likely to lead us to choose short-term, comfortable, safe options.

Instead, we should think about which path will make us grow, or which path will make us shrink each week. Deep down we probably know the answer to this question if we have the courage to ask it.

Berkman’s advice:

“Choose uncomfortable zooming in over comfortable zooming out whenever possible.”

Yes, sometimes pursuing “uncomfortable expansion” doesn’t lead to songwriting deals or a successful business. I chose uncomfortable paths and sometimes things didn’t go well. But it’s part of the process, and at least it eliminates the possibility of unhealthy regret!

Which brings me to my task today.

Let’s be comfortable with uncomfortable feelings

Let’s chase disturbing expansion in 2025.

• When we perform muscle strength training, We force our muscles to feel uncomfortable by lifting heavier and heavier weights – they respond by growing and adapting.
• If we use food as a coping mechanism When we are sad, angry, or bored, dealing with our relationship with food can feel uncomfortable.
• when we have an unpleasant conversation We can finally deepen our relationships or stand up for what is important to us.

In 2025, we ask a question:

Where in your life are you living comfortably and safely, and when deep inside Did you know that the path of “uncomfortable expansion” is what you really need to grow and help you get what you really want?

You may not need to quit your job immediately or go all-in on new goals or changes…

But it’s an uncomfortable question that might be worth asking yourself.

Life is not easy and change is even harder.

uncomfortable.

Terrible.

Messy.

But if you’re willing to say “no” to comfort, it might be just what you need.

-Steve

Attached: NumberWe are hosting a 5-day free workshopNumber For those of you who want to create new habits that you’ll actually stick to in 2025, it starts in just a few days!